I spent last night with my friends at one of the local night clubs. As a result of the thinking process, which this event had launched in my mind, I came up with the following list of obstacles, which you may encounter, if you decide to go to a night club and get acquainted with a girl there. Here they are:
– Too loud
It’s not a secret that the volume of music, played at night clubs, is pretty high, as it creates the atmosphere of joy and fun. If you aren’t a frequenter of the noisy places like night clubs, it’s unlikely that your ears are well adapted to the loud sound. So it may be a problem to hear what other people are saying to you at a night club. The music is loud at the dance floor especially. Thus, the conversation may become quite clumsy. There is a funny story to tell as an example: yesterday, asking a girl for her phone number I typed her name incorrectly three times in a row, because I didn’t hear what she was saying to me.
Though not every girl agrees to leave the dance floor, it is a good idea to invite her to the bar or chill-out zone of the night club, so you can have a chat.
– It’s hard to understand whether girl is alone or with her boyfriend
It’s a rather hard task to define, whether girl is with her boyfriend or not at a night club. Even if she is sitting alone at the bar, it doesn’t mean, that she doesn’t have her boyfriend chatting in another corner of the night club with his friends right at the moment. Thus, there is always an element of a risk here. But it’s unlikely that there’s going to be any serious troubles if you gently approach that girl. She will likely give you the cue tactfully that she isn’t looking for any acquaintances.
– Nowhere to sit
If you don’t reserve a table in advance, you may get into a situation that there won’t be any vacant seats to take at a night club. It isn’t that much problem though – there are some empty spaces to stand at the bar usually.
– A group of friends required
From my experience I can say, that it’s quite uncomfortable to be at a night club alone. When you’re alone in some public place, where everyone is chatting with each other and you are not, it definitely enhances the feeling of loneliness. I feel more relaxed and confident with a group of friends. Of course, it’s not a problem if you can make friends in a couple of minutes. But I cannot. So I do not visit night clubs without at least one friend to back me up.
– A lot of drinking
People drink at night clubs a lot. The chats are often interrupted with shots of some alcoholic drinks. If you don’t like drinking alcoholic drinks for some reason or do not drink at all, and you wouldn’t like to tell the truth, because it can trigger some unpleasant comments, you may come up with some kind of “story”. For instance, you may say that you drive a car or you should get up early next morning because of your job.
– Too expensive
The prices in the night clubs’ menus are much higher than in an ordinary department store. Thus, you are surely to spend quite a big sum of money. I don’t think of myself as a mean person, but sometimes it feels like you are robbed.
– Shallow conversations
Because of the noise and loud music it is hard to build a deep and meaningful conversation with a girl. Probably you’re good at shallow chats (by the way, to take part in a shallow chat is a skill either), then it’s OK. But I prefer to have calm and meaningful conversations. Furthermore, if she has quite a lot of friends around, it’s likely that she is going to be distracted by them from your conversation quite often.
What I personally don’t like about night clubs is that they work at night. 🙂 Yes, there are people who can stay all night long, socializing a lot, and not become tired and sleepy. But for me, it’s really hard “to have fun” for so long period of time. And the next day I am sleepy and annoyed.
– Too exhausting
If you’ve happened to be more introverted than extroverted person with the character’s traits such as shyness and timidity, you may be drained of your energy and emotional resources at a night club really fast. Sometimes it feels like I’m taking an exam on my social/communication skills while being at a night club. So it’s more work than pleasure. Plus, it takes some time to recover.
So if you’re going to a night club, my advice is to do your best in the first one-two hours and then leave. Don’t stretch it. Two hours would be enough to have a drink, to have a couple of chats with girls, and if those chats haven’t bring any result – leave. Otherwise, you may become tired, bored and upset.
January 5th, 2012