The Blind Date

Your friend or co-worker has noticed that you’ve been lonely for some time and wants to arrange a blind date for you? You may think how dare s/he is considering that you haven’t even asked him/her for help! However, hold your ego for a second and observe this situation as an opportunity to have some fresh experience in the field of dating and interpersonal relationships.

Here’s a short list of tips I’ve come up with to make the blind date less stressful and more fun for both of you. Let’s go!

Have No Expectations about the Person

Be skeptical about anything your friend or co-worker told you about the person you going to date with. You see, everything your friend tells you about that person is entirely based on your friend’s perception of that person. So there is a high chance that you will see the person from another angle than your friend and, thus, you will be disappointed from the first minute. The bad thing here is that the person might be really lovely if you’d approach him/her with no expectations.

Also your friend may describe that person using common in this case phrases, like “He is handsome/She is cute. You will like him/her”. At the same time your friend may not think about that person in this way. So why would s/he tell that?

First, your friend or co-worker doesn’t want to look rude when describing someone. Secondly, he may think that maybe you will like that person, so why to tell something bad in advance if you both haven’t even met up yet.

Phone Conversation

Now, when your friend/co-worker provided you with a phone number of the person, it’s time to schedule an appointment. Do not overcomplicate conversation. Here is the literal dialogue I used when arranging a date last week. Let say we have John and Julie:

John: Hi! Is it Julie?

Julie: Yes. Hello!

John: It’s John. <Your friend’s/colleague’s name> gave me your number. Can you talk right now?

Julie: Yes, that’s OK.

John: How about a cup of coffee? Let’s say… Saturday 18-00?

Julie: Great!

John: Great! Then let’s meet at <place of meeting>.

Julie: OK!

John: Bye!

Julie: Bye!

Where to Meet Up

Try to meet up at some not very crowded place. Thus, it will be easier for you to identify each other.

It may appear that there are other people who arrange a date at this place either. Especially it’s true, if you live in a big city. So if you’ve arrived to a place of meeting and see a lonely person – just walk up to him/her and ask “Are you <name>?”

How Long the Date Should Last

On the one hand, if you like each other – there’s no limit. Just use your common sense here. On the other hand, if the date is not going well, – then have a cup of coffee and leave (approximately, 45-60 minutes).

Give It another Try

Sometimes the first impression may be deceptive. You and your date partner may get nervous and the conversation may seem a little awkward. So if you are unsure whether you want to meet up with that person again or not, my recommendation is to give it one more chance. It will help make things clear.

Consider a blind date as playing roulette. No matter positive or negative outcome is, enjoy the process!

July 20th, 2012

Sociable Introvert

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