There are a lot of contradictory opinions on PUA Community and PUA Training. Some guys speak of it as fantastic and life-changing experience, others consider PUA training as the waste of time. Girls usually think of this activity as something that humiliates them and their personalities, and that the guys who take part in these trainings are pathetic. I would like to share my own experience of participating in the real Pick Up Artist Community’s Training more than a year ago.
In the summer of 2010 I was totally obsessed with the idea of getting girlfriend at last. I was 24, and up to that time I had never had a girlfriend, thus neither had sex, nor even kissed a girl. I was sure that everything that I don’t like with my life would somehow magically be fixed right after I get a girlfriend. Due to social pressure I was seeing the absence of a girlfriend in my life as my personality’s disadvantage, probably, the biggest disadvantage. In spite of having well-paid job and good friends, my self-esteem however was rather low.
So I applied for the the most popular (and I am still sure – the best) PUA training in my country, passed the interview and was signed in for the next closest training. The training was held for the period of two weeks (though I participated in it for only one week, I’ll explain later why). The training consisted of the “exercises” and “tasks”, which would lead a guy from acquaintance with a girl up to having sex with her.
The group of trainees consisted of guys mostly in their twenties. There were guys like me, who signed up for the training to solve the problem with women. Also there were guys, who acted very confidently, and it seemed like they were here only to have fun. Anyway the atmosphere was very friendly. The coach of the PUA training did his best and was professional and inspiring. There were so called “support guys” also, who helped trainees “in the streets”. If you couldn’t overcome fear and take an action on one of the exercises, like “Say “Hello!” to that cute girl”, the support guy tried to motivate you with inspirational speech or, if the speech didn’t help – literally took you by the hand and led you to that girl and demonstrated the implementation of the exercise on his own example.
However, as I mentioned earlier, my experience of the training didn’t last for two weeks (as it intended to be). In the end of the first week I got ill and returned to my native town to recover. My illness (as I still believe) was caused by the strong emotions, which my mind and body had been experiencing during the training. I walked too far out of my comfort zone, so my organism turned on its defensive mechanism.
In spite of my illness, I returned to the training in 3 days, but when I went out in the street again to work on the next task the following thought suddenly stroke me: “Even if I accomplish this training, my life won’t change in general, will it?” It was the matter of seconds that I realized that getting girlfriend wasn’t the issue I had to solve. My overall issue and problem was that I didn’t like my life and my lifestyle in general and as an essential part of it – I didn’t like myself. And a girlfriend wouldn’t change the situation, only distract me for a short period of time. So I quitted the training and returned home.
Though I didn’t manage to complete the training, I’ve gained some real value from it. First of all and the most important one is that I’ve got a better understanding of my real issues and desires in life. Of course, I’ve become more confident around women – to talk to a strange girl in the street is no more unreal for me – but that is not the core benefit from the training in comparison with the previous one. And what I think of as a great achievement also is that since that summer (about 1.5 years) I attend gym and do weight workouts regularly – I’ve never managed to stay in any sport section for more than a couple of months, but that PUA training somehow influenced me in this way.
The negative effect of the PUA training is that I still receive some picky comments from my friends and colleagues on my experience, but fuck ’em 🙂
What happened next. After returning home from the training I was overwhelmed and suppressed, the next step I should take in my life was very unclear to me. I didn’t want to be in the desperate chase for a girlfriend anymore. I concentrated on things and activities, which made me feel good – meeting my friends and devoting time to my hobbies. A couple months ago I’ve hired a counselor; and at last got a girlfriend. But it’s the separate topic and I will not cover it in this article.
Finishing this article, I would like to say, that PUA training is worth of participating, but it will give you a better effect if you work on your problems with a good counselor either, because as I got convinced on my own experience, the issue of not being able to get a girlfriend for a long period of time is not as simple as it seems. There are deeper issues, that prevent you from doing this, which the PUA training cannot solve by itself.
A little more on PUA Training
…There was one task, which was not connected with girls directly. That task was focused on overcoming social opinion. Plus it served as a “psyche-up” method I think. That was the most difficult, the most challenging and the most interesting task for me. The task was to sing a full-length song in some crowded, central street of the city. Also it can be some public place, like a big mall or the underground.
So the first place, where I was singing the song, was McDonald’s in some mall. That experience was something unreal. Can you imagine: people are eating their Big Macs and you are standing near and singing the song as loud as you can! Some people were smiling at me, some people were ignoring me. Even now, remembering that moment, I still don’t believe in it. For me it is like a dream now, which has never happened. But due to that task I’ve grasped the idea, that actually noone cares what happens around. So it helps to talk to girls in the streets or public transport.
Anyway, here is that song – Just For Tonight by One Night Only band. I think I will never forget its lyrics. 🙂
<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”//www.youtube.com/embed/6JNCNZs95Gc” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>
The full version of the video – link – unfortunately, in bad quality, and embedding is blocked.
December 17th, 2011