The key to getting a social life is to find and join a social circle whose members are united by a common thread – in this instance – by going out a lot. If you’ve managed to do this, your social life is set. You’ll feel happy for quite some time if you’ve achieved this goal.
Of course, accomplishing the goal is the tricky part. There are so many uncertain questions such as:
1 – How do I find a social group?
2 – How can I join in that social group?
3 – How do I relate to the other members of the social group?
It’s very difficult to find and join an already established group of friends. I had to think and think how I could do this very thing. I was desperate, thinking I’d never make it. You’ll have these very same thoughts. But, here’s what you need to remember: each time you fail, get back on your feet and try again. As the old saying goes, “Winners are not those who never fail but those who never quit.”
So, What Is The Difficulty In Finding and Joining That Kind Of Social Group?
One significant obstacle is that groups like these are not explicitly announced. Explicitly announced social groups are ones that you can become a member of just by following some transparent guidelines the group has set. For instance, a hobby class or job are examples of explicit social groups. Why is that?
First off, they’re explicitly announced. Job offers are stated openly on the Internet and in magazines, which means you can easily find them. A job offer also has clearly stated guidelines including the following:
– How you can join
– The level of skills you’ll need
You’ll have to write a cover letter, send in your resume and come in for an interview.
If you go through these steps, you have a high chance of being hired for the job and joining the social group of co-workers.
The same also true of hobby classes, which are often announced through social media and bulletin boards. There are clear guidelines of how you can take part in the class:
– Show up
– Sign in
– Pay for the classes
Once you do all that, you’ll become a part of the class’s social group.
It’s a little trickier to get involved with social groups that are united by friendship. These are folks who are friends with one another already. You just can’t go up to a group of friends and try to become a part of the group.
Yes, there are some instances where you could (and should) try to join this kind of group. For example, you’re sitting at a bar and a group of friends are talking, consider adding in your two cents worth to the conversation. You’re not going to be a member of the group right off the bat. But, it does get your noticed.
However, these groups have no set guidelines for you to follow. Well, maybe there is one guideline, which is that you have to have something in common with them. Does it help? Not really!
Plus, there are no announcements about a group of always on the go friends looking for new members.
How Do You Join A Social Group That Goes Out Often?
My advice… use an approach that’s slower but solid. Whatever method you feel comfortable with is what you should use. The best thing you can do is have someone from the group introduce you to the rest of them.
When you apply to a bank for credit or a job, recommendations are extremely worthwhile. The more you have, the better for you. When you get a person’s recommendation, you’re seen as credible. The same theory applies to this situation. Would you relate better to strangers if someone you knew was actually vouching for them than if they just approached you on the street?
The best thing you need to do is establish a deep connection with one person – a member of a social group you’d like to join. Once you’ve done that, you can begin building relationships with the other group members. In time, you can become real good friends with them. This is certainly what you’re looking for.
How Can You Find That Person Who Has A Healthy Social Life
What you need to do is identify the person who has the healthy social life. These folks tend to be very sociable, which you can recognize by their talking about their social life.
Before we divulge any further, take a little time now to consider what pals of yours are members of a larger social group… if you have any. If you do, deepen that friendship. If you don’t have a lot of people around you, join an explicitly stated social group to surround yourself by more folks. When you do this, you boost your chances to find that sociable one who can help you to get a social life too.
Below is a diagram to help you better understand what I am talking about:
1. Join some explicit social group (job, hobby class, etc.) to be around people;
2. Identify a sociable person (the member of a group of friends that are always going out). Deepen your relationship with him/her;
3. Have that person introduce you to the other group members.
4. Join this group!