1. Introverts have a shell (yes, that one they have to come out of)
A typical introvert according to a typical extravert:
2. The real world scares introverts, they do not know how to survive there
A typical introvert according to a typical extravert:
1 You make too few attempts
Best way to get a girlfriend is to make as many approaches as possible, until you succeed.
95% of guys who ask Google why can’t i find a girlfriend merely make too few attempts.
Here’s how it looks like:
An average guy approaches a girl and gets rejected. Then he waits for half a year to try again.
Fear of rejection may hold you back, but reiteration is literally the best way to get a girlfriend fast.
Walk up to a girl you like no matter which circumstances you may find yourself under, have a quick chat and ask for a phone number.
If you perform the above sequence of actions enough times, you’ll definitely get a date, which is the confident preerquisite for everything else.
2 You wait for The Princess aka Perfect Someone
Probably you have an unclear silhouette of a perfect girlfriend in your head. Perhaps, you even may describe her characteristics. Are you sure such a person really exists?
3 You give up too fast, after the first rejection
You ask a girl out for coffee. She says No. She says she’s busy. Then you give up.
What if I told you, she might be actually busy that evening. Why don’t you try again in a week or two?
Intersexual relationships may be tricky sometimes. No means Yes, and all that. But why don’t you make one more attempt just to make things clear?
4 You live with parents in your late 20s. You can afford living on your own, but you do not move out because you’ve chosen to stay in comfort conditions of parental home.
This is a big red flag for most women, who may consider you as an eventual boyfriend.
If you have income which covers your basic needs in food and room, think of moving out of your parents’ home as soon as possible.
Living on your own is among the best ways to get a girlfriend.
Please, be aware of 9 worst tips for moving out of your parents’ house.
5 You are a “nice guy”. And it’s not a compliment.
6 You have appearance issues you can easily solve (bad breath, dirty close, etc.)
Sometimes it’s banal negligence that makes a girl not want to consider you as a boyfriend.
7 You obsess over physical aspects of your body you can’t change (height, weight, bald head, etc.)
This is quite a widespread excuse for no girlfriend. A man finds some flaw (which may not really be a flaw) in his body and focuses on it.
The image of a handsome, finely dressed man is propagandized by companies, the only goal of which is to make you buy their products.
If you take a walk along the street you may notice that there’re all types of couples.
8 You try to be the best and the most perfect one.
People actually love imperfect ones. Read why.
9 You expect a girl to make the first move. You do not initiate social interaction.
While there are cases when a woman initiates communication with the romantic purpose, there’re too few of them to be considered as the way things actually are.
Most women still prefer a guy to approach them. These are just the rules of the game.
10 You hang out with the group of people who dominate over you, so your personality is not seen.
It may happen that people you usually hang out with tend to relate to you as someone less important. Or someone whose opinion can be easily ignored. They may assert themselves at your expense.
Such social group may be the cause why you cannot get a girlfriend. A woman sees that you occupy an inferior position among other males in your group. This fact makes you less desirable to her.
11 You avoid public places (where most social interactions take place, including social networks)
12 You dwell on your past mistakes as well as on bygone glorious victories
People have a natural tendency to ruminate over their past.
Sometimes you may remember some shameful public situation or a goofy mistake you made long ago. That’s OK. That is how we use our experience to achieve better results in the future.
However, if you focus on the negative side of your past too much, you may start catastrophizing those events and bringing in unproductive definitions as always and never.
“I always make fool of myself in public.”
“I never do anything right.”
The opposite extreme is to concentrate on your victories only. You may shape a self-image of a highly successful person who always wins, which is based on your thoughts and impression of your bygone days (not actual facts).
This will result in unrealistically high expectations, so every failure you’ll ever experience, will cause unnecessary pain.
In the case of getting a girlfirend problem, you may dwell on one regular rejection too heavily, and come up with a delusional idea, that your next attempt will end the same way.
Or, when you were in the elementary school, you were popular among the girls — usually they made the first move.
Now you project those events onto the current circumstances.
So when you do not get desired results, you get confused and unhappy, because your expectations were not met as you thought they would.
13 You complain way too much. You’re hooked on self-pity emotional junk
“I find it fascinatingly stupid for average dudes to sit around in a mediocre forum discussing how they will die virgins, and all of them will come back to such place to consume more and more of such negative energy!”
14 You are not disciplined to approach women on a regular basis
15 You are too picky
You find a flaw in every girl you meet. I’m pretty sure, you’ll find a drawback or too in The Princess you’re waiting for as well.
All people have one or another negative aatribute, you including.
16 You’re too focused on your study/job, and do not make time for the romantic affairs
Perhaps, it’s just defensive mechanism, or you really do love studying/working so much that you completely ignore other areas of your life.
18 You wait for the perfect moment when you feel emotionally, financially, physically great to approach a girl (which never ever happens).
You believe that public success, fame, money will make girls longing for spending a date with you. Partly it’s true, but it’s unlikely it will get you the girl you really want.
19 You’re afraid to reveal your personality traits in public
20 You build walls instead of bridges. You avoid straight ways like simply walk up to a girl you like and say Hi.
You come up with messy plans how to get that girl. However, you will not get any score for the original approach. You delay the results you want, and it’s just ineffective.
21 Too much of glamour inside to meet a real life girl. You’ve seen too many photoshopped pictures and watched too many polished videos and anime to be attracted to a real woman.
22 You overthink things
23 Some girls find you attractive. You miss those opportunities.
They aren’t good enough for you, are they?
24 You draw fast conclusions why this or that girl does not suit you without even talking to her, just by her appearance
25 You get too close too quickly
26 You read and theorize way too much. You want to know how things work before trying them first-hand.
27 You do not have other interests in your life
28 You avoid touching a girl by all means
29 You’re afraid to compete with other guys
30 You’re looking in the wrong places (nightclubs, if you don’t like to dance, crowded groups of friends if it’s hard for you to communicate in such environment)
31 You’ve built a fake image of yourself and are trying to sell it. You present yourself as rich when you’re broke, as confident when you are not, etc.
32 You do not think for yourself. You rely on someone’s else experience and opinion, this list including, instead of getting your own hands-on results.
Featured image by nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Depersonalization and derealization are unhealthy patterns of thought that result in feeling like you’ve lost your personhood or humanity, failing to recognize the humanity in others, and struggling to grasp reality.
People who suffer from derealization question whether or not the world around them is real, and because of this, often have a very hard time functioning in the world around them.
Depersonalization is equally harmful: it robs the person of their feelings of humanity and makes them feel disassociated from the world around them.
Understandably, people who suffer from depersonalization and derealization may have a difficult time with social interaction, and may feel isolated and alone.
The best way to combat depersonalization and derealization is to get professional help from a mental health specialist, since depersonalization and derealization are often symptoms of larger mental illnesses, like anxiety or depression.
Along with professional help, these are some methods that can help reduce the panic, stress, and depression that come from depersonalization and derealization. Continue reading 6 Ways to Manage and Mitigate Depersonalization and Derealization
I decided to put my programming skills to good use and make a retro-style pixel-art computer game about a brave introvert. He fights against the evil Dr./Prof. Extravert who wants to convert all the people into extraverts (and rule the world, of course).
I’ve already implemented basic game features. Here’s an early screenshot. Plot, art and gameplay (as well as title) have yet to be polished. Please, support my game by sharing this post.
That’s the usual thing to experience energy drain for an introvert who puts a lot of effort in practicing his or her interpersonal skills.
Even highly positive social activities may leave you exhausted and eager to find ways how to relax your mind and recharge your social energies.
Moreover, when you’re learning something, whether it’s math or your goal is to improve your social skills, the thoughtful rest is as important as the practice.
If you live (or wish to live) a fulfilling social life, it is crucial to master the techniques which will let you get back in shape as soon as it is possible.
Here are the twelve credible recommendations which will give you a quick social energy boost.