Other articles from “Get a Social Life From Scratch” series.

You know that if you are to succeed in something – improving an area in your life or attaining a goal you’ve been pursuing – you have to put the time and effort into it to see it come to fruition. And, when it comes to having a social life from scratch, the theory holds true.

Now, when you focus on just one thing in your life, other aspects in your life will suffer. The consequences of prioritizing will depend completely on you. If you put all your time and effort into getting a social life, it will significantly hurt other parts of your life.

For example: you may need to get rid of your hobby, as you won’t have time for it. Or, you may get fired from your job because you’re consistently late spending your nights socializing in clubs, bars, etc.

Only you can decide how far you want to go with it. For me, when my social life saw improvement, my career started to suffer. I didn’t have the energy to do both – social life and work. I was performing badly at work, and if I had been the boss with an employee like me, I’d have fired him/her.

Right from the get-go, I had decided that my social life was my highest priority. I was eager for so long to have it, and I knew I could get another job eventually. I didn’t really care! My social life was more important. I wanted to spend my time with friends into the wee early morning hours. I didn’t care I went to work sleepy. I can definitely say today that it was all worth it!

You may decide to go a different route; but, you should always do your best and use every opportunity to improve your social situation. You can always reallocate your time and energy later. However, when you’re just starting out, it’s vitally important to give your social life all your attention.

In this article, I’ll tell you what it means to make getting a social life your key priority. I will also provide you with some real-life cases and explain what actions you need to take to attain your goal.

1 – Become Obsessed

Get ravenous about having a social life. Don’t miss any opportunity to interact with folks. Small talk with a salesperson in a shop or at a big event – New Year’s Day party, it all counts!

Fall in love with all kinds of social events. Perhaps you’ve been invited to a social event that looks to be boring. Go anyway! You never know how it’ll turn out. In fact, it could be one of the best days in your life – something you can share with your future grandchildren.

When something – God/Universe/Higher Power – provides you with an opportunity to improve your social life, you should take it. Put everything else on the back burner – hobby, work, etc. – and focus on just your social life. You can balance them later in life.

Maybe you’re used to moving slowly through life – thinking and planning – and this can be fine! However, it’s time to be a bit irresponsible and unpredictable.

2- Do Something You Normally Wouldn’t Do

If I was going to improve my social life, I had to change how I went about deciding things. When I had no social life, I used to have the following pattern of behavior:

I’d turn down almost every opportunity to socialize. Whenever I had a choice: to stay at home or to go out and interact with people, I would definitely stay at home (or do some other non-social activity).

When I became aware of this bad pattern, I began making decisions that I normally wouldn’t have. In essence, I started accepting nearly every socialization offer. The idea behind the behavior was if I had a choice to stay home or socialize, I’d do the opposite of what I normally would have done.

See, in the majority of cases, I would choose to stay home and read a good book or watch a movie. However, by doing the opposite of what I normally did, I had to go out and participate in life. And, this is what I was doing. It’s my hope that this small tip helps you with your social life.

4 Cases Of Social Life Situations and The Actions You Should Take

Now, it’s time to look at some situations that you should take advantage of when it comes to your social life as well as the actions you need to take to improve your social skills. It’s easier for me to explain things from a personal standpoint so each of the four cases is based on my own experience.

1 – Too Tired To Communicate

Someone calls you to invite you to a party or just to have a chat in the nearby café or have a walk together. But, you don’t feel like socializing so you decline and stay home. Wrong!

That was a frequent mistake on my part!

It’s obvious that if you wish to improve your social life, you need to accept the offer and go socialize. But, at the same time, you feel tired, don’t you? You probably think that you won’t be all there if you go? How do you overcome the issue?

The trick here is to remember that motivation follows action. There were many times when I thought I was drained and exhausted. But, I made a step out of my house and some inner resources would unexpectedly pop up and give me strength and energy to be cheerful and sociable again.

So, if you don’t feel like going somewhere this evening, do it anyway.

2 – Stick To Your Priorities

Sometimes you just cannot kill two birds with one stone. Thus, you’ve got to choose. And, the clear vision of your priorities will help you in this case.

My friends invited me to go fishing with them one evening. Unfortunately, I had a study class to attend. However, I chose to go out with my friends and miss the study the next day. Yep, I had some issues with the class later on based on the choice I made. But, I didn’t regret going out with my friends! I felt it was more important to go out with my friends and have a wonderful time socializing than attend class.

3 – Unexpected Change Of Plans

One evening, a friend of mine came to town and gave me a call. He offered me the chance to go walking with him and some other friends. It was around 11 p.m. and I was rather exhausted. I declined the offer.

You know what? I regret that decision. If I had went, my social life would have been boosted and I could have attained my goal quicker.

If you’re going to have a social life, you need to change your plans every now and then. It’s common to hang with friends for a couple of hours or stay up until dawn the next morning.

I was sluggish when I had to change my plans, and it was difficult for me to alter my day agenda. However, it’s helpful to accept those social interactions even when they don’t fit into the schedule you laid out. You must be ready to accept changes because they can happen at any point in time.

4 – Spend Money

It can be expensive getting a social life – cafés, traveling, bars, etc. It’s none of my business what your income is; but, if you want a social life, you don’t want to be stingy. You need to invest some of the cash into the goal.

One Final Thought

Making your social life the number one priority is essential if you plan on being successful at it. Take a second gander at what your life is like. Ask yourself what areas in your life can be sacrificed for some time to put your resources into improving your social circle. When you do that, act upon it!

July 7th, 2012. Revised: October 18th, 2012