How to Call a Girl

Calling a girl can be a tough challenge. And often it is, especially for a person not very experienced in communication with women. That is why there are a lot of articles in the World Wide Web, giving you advices on how to call a girl. I’m not going to tell you something new and ground-shaking regarding this topic. In spite of any advice you can read in any article – anyway, you should develop your own best way of calling a girl. And it can be developed only through the real world experience. You’ll make mistakes. That’s for sure. But it is as it should be. Mistakes are meant to be made while you are learning something new. However, I would like to tell about things, which I learned from my experience and which help me now, when I need to call a girl.

1. While getting ready to call a girl, you are anxious and fearful. You are nervous. You feel stressed and overwhelmed. Do not try to cope with these feelings. Really. Because you will definitely lose. These feeling are irrational, so you cannot eliminate them with logical convictions. Well, of course, you can reduce them, but it’s not the thing you should care about. Just accept that these feeling exist as a fact, as an axiom, the fundamental truth.

2. Do not think of calling a girl as an event you can avoid. Think of it as a “must be done” deed. You are not given any choices here. You must call that girl. It doesn’t matter how bad or nervous you feel. The call must be made. No options.

3. What time to call a girl? Do it whenever you want. Do it when as you think it would be suitable. Do not use any stereotypes, like “call on the 3rd day”. I had that belief (formed by some members of the Pick Up Artist Community, I think) that I should wait for two days before calling a girl. My God, those were the most painful and nervous two days of my life. While waiting for “the right moment to call” I totally freaked myself out. Do not repeat my mistake.

4. For me it’s easier to call a girl, when I am in some kind of romantic state. I often use lyrical music videos for this purpose. Find the song you like and listen to it as many times as you wish, before calling a girl. I usually watch the music videos for 10-20 times before making a phone call. For example, I watched the following Burberry’s fragrance ad video for 30 times. It helped me to call a girl at last.

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5. Make a plan of your conversation, but do not make it too detailed. Do not try to write the full dialog on the paper: as you say it the dialog may appear to be not so good as it is on the paper. Just think of general points of the conversation for a couple of minutes and that’s enough. Here is the dialog, which can be applied in the real world without any additions:

1. Intro part

– Hi! It’s … How are you?

– I’m fine, thank you. And you?

– I’m fine too!

2. The main part

– I want to invite you to…

– Yes/No

– Ok, see you.

You see, you don’t have to compose something impressive. The conversation is short and takes only 1-2 minutes of your time. But after that, I promise, whether your invitation was accepted or not, you will definitely feel a great relief.

I remember one of my first experiences. I’ve written the full dialog on a piece of paper and revised it for several times. But despite the fact that the dialog was perfect from my point of view, the phone conversation was very clumsy. It lasted for almost half an hour and I didn’t manage to ask the girl for a date! She hung up in the middle of the conversation. Though that was a total screw up, I don’t feel any negative emotions anymore, but rather the feeling of gratitude for that lesson. So try to make the conversation short and don’t forget about your purpose – set up the time and the place of a date.

6. Here is one more trick I use very often. It’s much easier to talk to a girl via phone while walking down the street. From the first glance, it may sound strange. But it’s no secret that any intense physical activity, like jogging or weight training, relaxes your mind and decreases level of psychological stress. And the walking isn’t exception. So it’s easier to handle the anxiety and fear, which obviously appear when calling a girl, while doing some kind of physical activity at the same time. Plus, the process of walking doesn’t let you to concentrate on these negative feelings – you are distracted, because you have to watch other pedestrians and cars and what’s going on in the street at all. I strongly recommend to give it a try – you’ll love it :-)

Also you may be interested in my article “To call or to text a girl?”

December 24th, 2011

Sociable Introvert

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