There is a popular belief that a successful man must control 100% of his/her life. If circumstances prevail over your plans, then you’re weak.
This belief was shaped by countless self-help gurus.
It has to be said, that I’m quite a fan of self-development and this blog has quite a bunch of content focused on personal growth. However, this does not replace the fact that life coaches are people, and people, as you know, make mistakes.
Initially, I was an adept of this belief as well. I truly believed that it’s just you who’s responsible for everything that takes place in your life. If something does not work out as you expected that’s your fault. Only a cry-baby blames environment (people, circumstances). A genuinely strong person blames her/himself for not reaching the goal.
Now consider these two examples:
- You got late to an interview and missed the job, because the train did not arrive on time (for example, a traffic collapse happened and it took several hours to restore the regular operations).
- You missed the deadline and lost a deal, because your boss overburdened you with work.
How would “a strong, 100% responsible for his/her life person” overcome these obstacles?
I hope, you get the absurdness of this belief now.
The thought that someone 100% controls his/her life is too idealistic. It’s okay to fall back upon this belief if the person is very passive indeed. However, if you take this literally, your journey to success may end with a nervous breakdown.
Nobody can (far less, must) control everything. Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you should let life just happen, without controlling it. This approach is more realistic, adult and healthy.
Next time you let this infected thought soak into your mind, let it go fun itself (along with a person who manipulatively provoked it, because this cheap trick is often used by incompetent managers, who by making you feel the guilt, simply put responsibility off their own shoulders).