Building Up Your Confidence When Dating

When dating, it can sometimes be a little baffling to us as to why someone is interested in dating us. Here’s how to build up your confidence and know what you deserve.

Find Someone With Similar Interests

When dating, it can be a big confidence boost if you find someone who is into similar stuff to you. We often find it hard to talk to others about topics we are not quite so knowledgeable about so it is always handy if we meet someone who knows a thing or two about something we are passionate about and are also able to hold a conversation.

Passion for something will often take over and your shyness gets put to one side as you reason as to why you feel this particular way or that way. Knowing that someone is interested in what we have to say is great for the ego.

Get A Little Naughty

Dating can mean a few different things. You can be dating someone exclusively or just dating – not dating anyone in particular but keeping your options open. A great way to get a confidence boost is by dating a few different people at a time. This is not to say do it behind their backs – actually make it clear from the offset that you are interested in going on dates with a few different people. Continue reading Building Up Your Confidence When Dating

Think For Yourself

To go wrong in one’s own way is better than to go right in someone else’s.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

Earlier this year I turned 30 and this post pretty much sums up my life experience for the last decade.

I procrastinated on writing my thoughts down regarding this event for half a year. Mostly due to the high stress to make it perfect I had put on my shoulders. Such dates happen just once, so it felt like I had to hone every detail of this post to perfection.

Every thought must be thought through and shine brighter than the sun,” – I thought. The old good perfectionism, bottom line.

Eventually, I figured out that if I do not wake up early next morning and start writing right off the bat, it will be delayed till 40 year old anniversary and so on. But there’s still a hope even in this case: probably someone would be kind enough and sum up my life experience for me in the form of an epitaph?.. Haha, just a pinch of black humor.

But let’s get back on track.

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We are culturally conditioned to consider round anniversaries as some milestone in our life. On such dates we tend to judge our previous life, make existential conclusions, regret the mistakes and missed opportunities. We may get nostalgic about some delightful moments we experienced in the passed years and get sad knowing those years will never come back.

So, although technically, it was just another year of my life came to an end, whether I wanted it or not, I started asking myself questions, uncomfortable and disturbing ones including.

Have I created something meaningful in the last decade? Have I developed any skills? Was I enjoying my life at all during those years?

What mistakes have I made along the way? Which of them I would keep for the purpose of growth experience, which ones would I try to avoid completely if I started over?

What lessons did I learn? And how would I like to spend my 30s and the rest of my life in the light of those lessons?

Some questions were easy to answer, others I would like to be never asked. For a number of them I still can’t figure out the final responses.

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However, there’s a thesis I’d like my 30+, 40+ and so on year old me to follow. Here it is: think for yourself. Continue reading Think For Yourself

The Best of Two Worlds

Do you enjoy playing video games? Do you suspect that this activity keeps you from having a rich social life and making friends?

I don’t argue: high chance is you’re right. But do you really need to sacrifice your life-long romance with CS:GO, Skyrim, or, god have mercy upon us, Minecraft in order to get a social life?

Not at all. Continue reading The Best of Two Worlds

12 Facts About Introverts Every Extravert Thinks are True

1. Introverts have a shell (yes, that one they have to come out of)

A typical introvert according to a typical extravert:

introvert come out of your shell
Image courtesy of antpkr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
2. The real world scares introverts, they do not know how to survive there

via GIPHY

3. Introvert is an emotionless machine lacking the skill of empathy

via GIPHY Continue reading 12 Facts About Introverts Every Extravert Thinks are True

The Point of No Return in Group Conversations

Group talks have distinctive unstructured chaotic nature and come across as one of the most challenging social interactions an introvert or a shy and socially anxious person may find her/himself involved into.

In this short article I would like to present you the idea of the point of no return in groups talks, and how it can harm or help you.

I regard myself as a introverted person. Still I’m very eager to participate in social interactions despite the excess of them leaves me completely drained of my energy.

Nevertheless, when you just meet up with your friends, you are fresh and anticipate that you’ll spend some really good time with them.

When the talk starts (or you join active one), it’s OK to spend a number of initial minutes to tune in to a vibe of the conversation. It’s fine to feel kind of tongue-tied in the beginning.

However, once you figured out the kind of discussion: its topic, its mood — you have like about 5 minutes at max to kick your two cents in.

If you miss that point, two unpleasant things start to unfold:

a) You begin getting nervous that you haven’t said anything yet. And that if you say something now it will look awkward after so much silence from your side;

b) Other people may start considering you as quiet, and will begin to ignore you (like making no eye contact with you).

The Point of No Return, though having a dramatic name, is not that fatal, of course. Missing it does not necessarily make you obliged to stay silent through the rest of the group conversation.

It’s more of a warning sign which may make it a bit harder for you to start talking once you’ve passed it.

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